Too many people are getting married

Too many people have been getting married lately, and back-to-back viewings of The Walking Dead along with late-night readings of the World War Z,  have somehow conglomerated the two happenings in my head. The result? I am seeing the sudden wave of marriages as a total full-blown Zombie Apocalypse. I am seeing my engaged friends as

...The Living Dead.

Don't get me wrong! I am happy for you guys, but this is about 'me', okay? Me and the rest of my unmarried and no-intention-of-getting-married-any-time-soon brethren. These are dark times for us. Day after day we bravely open our Facebook accounts to see another person wiped out by this plague. Day after day we see crushes, ex-boyfriends, school friends - even chaddi buddies - becoming one of them.

It's just you and me left, dawg


One of my closest friend's roka came as a shock. The celebratory dinner saw us sitting across from her with queasy smiles on our faces, telepathically asking each other - How much time does she have left before she turns into one? The sleepover that followed was more awkward still, with each one wondering, Is this contagious? and worse still, Who's next?

When the hypothetical Zombie World War broke out in Max Brooks' book, people lost their shit, fleeing to far away places where the dead couldn't find them, stocking up on supplies, using fellow human beings as baits in their escape plans. My fascination and deep love for Zombie fiction comes from my belief that only Zombies can reveal the true human nature. Only Zombies can test our emotional, physical and mental endurance the way no other adversity can. But marriage is coming pretty close to the zombies in all three areas right now.

Losing our shit doesn't even begin to describe what is happening to us. Coping mechanisms include everything, from violent fits of depression (Oven, meet head), to manic escape plans ("But mom, this Norway university's philosophy course is THE BEST) and the most popular yet... 'CARPE DI 'EM BOYS' (Which happens to be my Spanish translation of 'Sieze the boys!'). This is coupled with general distrust of those closest to us, Have you been bitten? Sorry you can't come with us! My journey from the day my mother first brought up marriage at the dinner table, closely resembles Andrew Lincoln's from when he rose alone in Zombie-infested hospital bed, only to find out that the world had come to this -

Family- Beta, check out this boy, he's an engineer!
Me: NOOOOOOOOO