I never really got to have the 'high school' experience back in my high school. I mean, I am not even sure if you could call it a school. It was a convent. With lots of nuns and ignorant girls. If we were Hogwarts, sex was our chamber of secrets. We heard about it, people vanished down that area to never return or returned and were never quite normal again and most of us tried to like... not think about it. (OMG the phallic possibilities of this metaphor! One must Never look a basilisk in the eye. Bwaahahaha).
So high school happened to me when I went to journalism school. When pitted against left-leaning liberal dudes and Chomsky quoting chicks, I felt my teeth sprout metaphorical braces and my skin break into a thousand prickly whitehead metaphorical pimples. This was high school. Those were the jocks and cheerleaders while I was on the bleachers wearing sneakers (as Taylor Swift would say). Suddenly, I was in a world where NOBODY cared that Angelina Jolie had adopted another kid.
Now, I know I am making myself sound stupid. I am not, stupid. It's just that... When intellectual people talk about guilty pleasure - I say, 'bullshit, why feel guilty?'. I am like the fat girl who eats junk food while the cheerleaders throw up in the loo. ( Yup, its still a high school metaphor tethering vaguely into reality. Fat girl-me, junk food-Taylor Swift, cheerleader-the intellectuals, throw up- their intellectual bullcrap).
I hope all the pretentious dickwads reading this can see that while this is thinly veiled satire of myself, it is also a reminder for you to stop taking yourself so goddamn seriously.
Ps- I still dislike people who NEVER liked "Titanic".
Can't trust those motherfuckers.
So high school happened to me when I went to journalism school. When pitted against left-leaning liberal dudes and Chomsky quoting chicks, I felt my teeth sprout metaphorical braces and my skin break into a thousand prickly whitehead metaphorical pimples. This was high school. Those were the jocks and cheerleaders while I was on the bleachers wearing sneakers (as Taylor Swift would say). Suddenly, I was in a world where NOBODY cared that Angelina Jolie had adopted another kid.
Now, I know I am making myself sound stupid. I am not, stupid. It's just that... When intellectual people talk about guilty pleasure - I say, 'bullshit, why feel guilty?'. I am like the fat girl who eats junk food while the cheerleaders throw up in the loo. ( Yup, its still a high school metaphor tethering vaguely into reality. Fat girl-me, junk food-Taylor Swift, cheerleader-the intellectuals, throw up- their intellectual bullcrap).
I hope all the pretentious dickwads reading this can see that while this is thinly veiled satire of myself, it is also a reminder for you to stop taking yourself so goddamn seriously.
Ps- I still dislike people who NEVER liked "Titanic".
Can't trust those motherfuckers.
Amen.
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